Spring Cleaning
by Alayna-The-Tallest-Hobbit
Summary: John's day started out innocently enough, just a little bit of spring cleaning. But then, something happened... Please R


**Author's note:** I just wanted to say a quick thank you to Amy who encouraged to finish this story. Also, Spring Cleaning has been posted on Kansas and on the BBoard on SciFi. Any critism or praise is welcome (boy, I'm nervous now!). Thanks for reading!

Alayna the Tallest Hobbit, aka STARKAT.

Disclaimer: I know they're not mine, I just like to play with them.

Setting: A few months after Bad Timing.

****

**Spring Cleaning**

He was on his hands and knees, rummaging around. "This time I can't just stick anything in the closet," he muttered to himself. John Crichton, astronaut turned action hero, was baby-proofing. With Aeryn as big as a planet, her mood was generally terrible. Her latest tirade had left him scurrying off to D'Argo's quarters. A few days later the baby-proofing took place.

So far he had found a ball, his chess game thrown in a corner with its pieces scattered everywhere, and a ton of popcorn. He had stacked up his videos, tossed away garbage, and cleaned up some spider webs. The spiders must have come aboard the transport pods, and died out when they couldn't find any juicy bugs to eat.

John's eyes went to the corner of the room. His little project was still unfinished, after so many months. A soft cloth covered it so Aeryn couldn't see what it was. It was fashioned together out of metal, and needed a few pieces of foam and a soft mattress. _Well, a baby too_, thought John.

Dejectedly, he tossed some machinery parts into a box for storage. As a kid, John had never liked cleaning his room. It just seemed more fun to have his room overrun with pizza boxes and smelly socks. Of course Aeryn would have him pick it up. She was an ex-Peacekeeper. They were military, and military meant sparse and clean.

So, here he was, sticking his hand behind the TV. 1812 puttered around a corner, vacuuming. His song was playing soft and low. _I'm gonna have to teach him a new song sometime_, Crichton thought.

He sighed, and put all his annoyance to the back of his mind. He thought of the baby instead. _Will she have his blue eyes and Aeryn's dark hair? Or will she look like Olivia_, he thought. _My sister would like that_. John reached behind the TV again. _I bet she'd just like to see_…

His groping hand found something. Crichton pulled it out. A dust bunny. _Nope, that wasn't it_.

Trying again, his hand found a hard box. John took it out and examined it. The box was wrapped in red tissue paper, and had his name on it. He sat down hard—on Winona. "How did you get down there," wondered John, as he placed the pistol back in its holder.

_Should I wait and get Aeryn or open it now_? he asked himself. _Now_,he decided. Crichton didn't like to wait if he didn't have to.

John opened the Christmas present slowly, not tearing any of the paper. As the wrapping fell away, he was holding…a piece of cardboard.

_Cardboard? What kind of present is cardboard_? He felt raised bumps on the other side, so he turned it over.

At the top it said "Our Family." There were yellow stars and moons all around the edges. In the middle was a pane of glass. _No duh_, John thought, mentally kicking himself. _It's a picture frame_!

_I have to go find Aeryn!_ John got up so quickly, he knocked over a pile of videos.

Striding quickly past the corridors, he went in search of Aeryn.

**xxx**

"Sikozu, why is your nose always in a book?"

She looked up from her reading and glared at the grey alien staring at her. "It is not a book, it's a flimsy." Sikozu turned back to her reading. It was extremely fascinating. There were thousands of articles about physics and other science subjects that she had downloaded from the Internet while she was on Erp. Sikozu was reading them merely for entertainment. _What will those Human come up with next_, she thought.

Chiana rephrased her question. She said it slowly, "Why are you always reading a flimsy."

"Because there is nothing better to do on this boring ship." Sikozu was getting a little annoyed now. What right did this child have to interrupt her reading?

"Yes there is."

"No there is not."

"Yes there is," Chiana shot back.

"No."

"Yes there is," she put an emphasis on each word.

"Prove it," Sikozu said.

"Okay, sure," Chiana said, thinking quickly. "I know. Let's play hide and seek."

"No."

"Why not? You liked it down on Erp."

"There was nothing to do on Erp."

Chiana pointed an accusatory finger at her. "You said there was nothing to do here either."

"It does not matter. I will not play hide and seek."

Chiana sighed. _This is gonna be harder than I thought_, she said to herself. "How about cooking? Bet ya never cooked before." Eyes lighting up she added, "We could cook for Aeryn! We could make a stir fry outta pickled nokar and put grozzer icing on top! She would love that. What do you think?"

Sikozu looked at her disdainfully for a moment, and said, "It is worth a try. It would take some…pressure off of her."

"And Crichton," Chiana added.

"Fine," she consented.

"Then come on," said Chiana, as she rushed off towards the eating area.

**xxx**

Aeryn stood in the middle of the mess, looking for something to eat. She looked as if she couldn't decide what she wanted.

Chiana entered the mess and said, "Hiya Aeryn. Whatcha doin'?"

"Looking for something to eat." Aeryn's tone was neutral, but she seemed slightly stressed out.

"Could we cook something for you?" Chiana ventured.

"Who's we?"

Chiana backed out of the mess, and pulled Sikozu out of the corridor. "I'm tryin' to show her there's better things to do besides reading a book."

"Flimsy."

"Whatever," said Chiana.

"If you really want to…" Aeryn trailed off. "Just make it…"

"Sweet and pickled. We know," Chiana said. Trying to make small talk, she added, "What's John doin'"

Aeryn's eyes narrowed, and her face got angry, remembering the argument. "He's baby proofing his room."

"Oh."

"Chiana, we must get started," Sikozu said.

"Aeryn? We could use your help in command," said Pilot.

"On my way Pilot," she answered.

"We'll have your food done before you get back," Chiana promised.

"Good," Aeryn said curtly, and she walked out of the mess.

"Okay, you start chopping the nokar, and I'll take care of the grozzer icing."

**xxx**

"We have a problem," D'Argo's deep voice told her.

"What is it?" Aeryn asked, wishing she had a bite to eat.

"Scorpius is still trying to tell us something," Stark answered, wringing his hands.

"He keeps…sneezing," Pilot added.

"And he won't let me near him," Noranti said, rolling her eyes.

"Is there anything odd with his quarters?"

"There are feathers…feathers everywhere!" Stark said, putting his hands on his cheeks.

_Why do I have to think of everything myself?_ she asked herself. "Send some DRDs to clean up the mess."

"Excellent, why didn't I think of that?" Pilot asked himself.

Aeryn wrapped her arms around her huge belly. "Is that all?"

"Yes. Thank you," D'Argo answered.

Aeryn left, feeling slightly enraged. _They didn't even need her, so why had they called?_

When she was gone, D'Argo turned to the others and said, "Do you think that helped."

"Not at all," said Noranti.

"At least…she will be angry at us for a while, instead of Crichton," Stark added hopefully.

"Good," D'Argo rumbled, "then I can have my quarters to myself for a while…"

**xxx**

"We're almost done," Chiana announced when Aeryn walked in the door.

Aeryn gave Sikozu and Chiana an incomprehensive look. "You said you would be _done_!" she shouted angrily.

Chiana sent Sikozu an uh-oh look. Sikozu sent her a look that said, this-was-supposed-to-be-fun?

Suddenly the stir fry was perfect, and Aeryn had a plateful of veggies and a bowl of icing in front of her.

Chiana wanted to say, "Enjoy," but it didn't feel like the right thing to say at the moment. She motioned to Sikozu and they backed out of the room, while Aeryn stonily ate her dinner.

"Thank you," Aeryn managed, but it sounded rather forced. When the pair were finally gone she thought, _Good, some peace and quiet_.

Out in the corridor Chiana said, "Fine. So that didn't work. Let's watch a movie. I bet you that we can do it."

A cloud passed over Sikozu's face. "I've never done that before."

"What?"

"Gambled."

"You've never gambled before?" Chiana squeaked.

"Never."

"Well, I bet you one raslak that we can watch a movie, and get Crichton to watch it with us." Chiana glanced around excitedly. "If I win, you owe me a raslak. If you win, I owe you one."

"How do you propose we find Crichton."

Chiana stopped walking and looked around. "John is bound to come down this way looking for Aeryn soon. We'll just wait here."

So they waited. One, two, three, four, five minutes passed.

"So when is he going to come this way?" Sikozu asked.

"Just wait," replied Chiana.

Another minute went by. Sikozu looked like she was about to leave when Chiana whispered, "Listen!"

Someone was running down the hall. _Crichton!_ thought Chiana excitedly

**xxx**

John ran down hallways and skidded to a halt. Chiana and Sikozu were standing there. Not talking, not arguing. Just standing. He ignored their lack of conversation and asked, "Where's Aeryn? Have you seen her?"

The girls glanced at each other, a should-we-tell-him-and-let-him-meet-the-monster look.

Chiana decided she had to try to steer him away from the evil scary unknown, and win the bet. "Look Crichton, how far are you on spring cleaning? Could we watch a movie and have some popcorn?"

Sikozu sighed and joined the effort. "It would be…interesting to stare at a black box for two arns."

Crichton was not in the least distracted from his goal. "Maybe later, okay guys? I really have to find Aeryn."

"Please Crichton? Sikozu hasn't seen Star Wars yet."

Sikozu tried to look mildly interested.

"Well…" he wavered, "no, not this time. I really need to go find Aeryn."

"She's in the mess," Sikozu answered quickly. She smirked at Chiana when John started running in the direction, with the red paper flapping wildly. When he turned the corner, she said, "That's one raslak you owe me."

Chiana glared at her and said, "Fine." She stomped off towards her quarters and muttered, "Kids," under her breath.

Sikozu, pleased to be finally rid of Chiana, walked back to her quarters to read her flimsy.

Still stomping through the corridors, Chiana thought, _That's the last time I'm gonna teach her to have some fun._ But Chiana knew she wouldn't be able to keep away for long…

Crichton meanwhile, was running top speed to the eating area. He slipped and missed the door. John stood for a moment, catching his breath.

He walked in calmly to see Aeryn with a huge plate of food. It wasn't such an unusual sight, just something sweet with something pickled. Very strange.

"Hi honey," said John, holding the present behind his back.

Aeryn dropped a vegetable into her mouth and chewed, staring at him. She swallowed and said, "Hello John. Is your room clean?"

Feeling a little guilty he said, "Almost." Then he changed the subject, "Look what I found!"

"What?" she asked, cautiously.

John laid the picture frame and tissue paper on the table and grinned at her. Aeryn's eyes widened, her jaw dropped, and then her eyes squinted in anger.

"You found it? How could you find it? And how dare you open it without me being there!"

John stuttered, "I-I-I, it was behind the TV and I saw my name on it," he swallowed, "and opened it." The movie with Chiana and Sikozu was sounding better and better.

"You didn't even stop to think that I wanted to give it to you later. That I wanted to see you open it," her voice rose higher and higher. "And now you've gone and ruined the surprise…" She buried her face in her hands and cried. Aeryn was crying so hard that she could barely get a breath in.

John pushed her chair to the side, and hugged her. "Shhh…it's okay. I didn't mean to ruin the surprise. I'm sorry."

He held her, while she cried it all out. All her frustrations of being as big as Moya, and not being able to do all the things she used to. John smoothed the hair out of her face.

When her tears subsided, John wiped the rest away with a soft napkin. "Come with me," he said. Aeryn nodded, and he picked her up, with her arms around his neck. Crichton carried his wife to their quarters, slowly so he wouldn't stumble.

They made it there without too much trouble. Aeryn gave him a pointed look when she saw all the boxes of odds and ends on the floor. John shrugged as best he could.

He set her on the bed, and put the picture frame on the night stand. Aeryn looked at it a moment, then adjusted it a little so she could see it better from where she sat.

Crichton dragged over a cloth-covered object over to her side of the bed. "Go ahead," he said, "take the cover off."

Aeryn pulled it off, slowly. Underneath was a crib, a metal crib painted in colorful pictures. Beautiful rainbows, red flowers, yellow suns, blue moons, purple stars, green planets, and white clouds. She gasped. "John, I…"

"I know it's not finished yet. I still have to find some foam and a mattress. But I'll be done before…"

"John," said Aeryn, "it's beautiful. I've never seen anything more perfect for the baby."

John smiled at her. "Do you really think so?" he asked.

"Definitely."

"So you're gonna forgive me for opening your present early, and not finishing my room?"

"Well…I don't know…"

At his panic stricken face, she laughed. _It's good to hear her laugh after all I went through_, John thought.

Aeryn squeezed his hand. "You still need to finish up around here…"

John groaned. "Oh Mommy do I have to?"

She looked startled at the name, then Aeryn grinned wickedly. "Yes you do, Daddy. But don't worry, I'll stay just to help you."

"What kind of help do you mean?" he asked, suspiciously. Aeryn wasn't about to do any bending over.

"I'll do something I know I'm good at. I'll direct you."

"Oh baby, you gotta be joking me," he whined. Then he smiled broadly.

"I wouldn't have any other way."

Aeryn started pointing out corners of clutter, and John cleaned them out. After all cleaning out one's room isn't so bad.

Fin


End file.
